Where Are You Dad?

Steve & Shirley

Steve & Shirley

For they sow the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind. … Hosea 8:7a

Hosea’s words about reaping the whirlwind have found a new application in the 21st century of North America. That calls for an explanation — an explanation which begins with a quiz. And, lest you’re wondering, it most certainly is not a trivia quiz. Just fill in the blank:

* According to the U.S. Department of Health, 63 percent of youth suicides come from _______ homes.

* According to the Center for Disease Control, 85 percent of all children with mental or behavioral disorders come from __________ homes.

* According to the National Principals Association 71 percent of high school dropouts come from ______________ homes.

* According to The Christian Post, girls are 711 percent more likely to have children as a teen, 53 percent less likely to marry as a teen, and 92 percent more likely to get divorced if they are from a ____________ home.

Well, did you figure out the answer?

To get 100 percent on the quiz you can put the word “fatherless” into each of the blanks above.

In spite of those frightening figures, in my lifetime I have seen society “sow the wind,” as fathers have gone from knowing best to knowing nothing at all. The king has deserted his castle and is now confined to his man cave. No longer revered and respected, dads are discounted and disregarded.

And where does the whirlwind come in? In this: even as the percentage of women who respect marriage is rising dramatically, the percentage of men who value marriage is dropping — like a stone. And who will pay the price for this shift in society? It will be the children, of course. You need not be a rocket scientist or brain surgeon to see the downward spiral this situation creates.

Now you may wonder what does all this have to do with a Devotion. Simply this: the homes of Christian men and women are to be different. We have a different standard, a different goal, a different direction. Most certainly, in Jesus, we have a different model to follow.

Paul showed us that model when he wrote, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25).

That is a concept the world has never understood. The best, the most noble idea it can come up with is “Marriage is a 50-50 proposition.” That is not what the Bible says. In Scripture fathers are told to emulate Jesus; they are told to give as Jesus gave.

That means giving when it’s not wanted, giving when it’s not appreciated, giving when it is not applauded. It means putting the welfare of others above that of yourself. It means giving until it hurts, giving even to the point where you are ready to sacrifice yourself.

We are to give because that is what Jesus has done for us. From start to finish, from beginning to end, Jesus’ life was dedicated to us. And we fathers with our families can honor our Lord and impact the future by doing as He did. Fathers are you listening?

Dear Lord, may our homes be blessed by Jesus’ presence. May our lives be lived trying to follow His example, in and through the power of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Grace and Peace

Steve

Martin & Zimmerman

 

Steve & Shirley

Steve & Shirley

I haven’t followed the Martin/Zimmerman case very closely. I will catch an opinion every now and then. I remember at the very beginning of this thing when this armed militia showed up in Florida vowing to get even for this racial injustice. I remember feeling then that this is not a good thing when people’s feelings get all hot and out of control. Even Martin’s lawyer was playing the race card in the beginning.

Someone stepped in and brought some calm to the situation and diffused what could have been a very, very bad situation.

The more I listened the more I realized that no one really wanted to hear the facts or listen to the story, or even follow the law. What people wanted was their own agenda to prevail. Whatever we believed in the beginning, from our own bias and perspective, is what we kept. And so we just fed ourselves on more and more and more of the stuff that agreed with our opinion and refused to give any consideration to other points of view or facts.

Sounds to me that this is what we do in this country, what we do as human beings… it is the basis of our sinfulness… wanting our own will over that of any other – even God. Now we have demonstrations in many cities protesting the outcome of a trial, where facts were presented, witnesses questioned, instructions given, and the case was presented, according to the law, before a panel of one’s peers. And because it didn’t come out like we wanted it to… we now think the “system” is corrupt.

Since Zimmerman was not found guilty, we now want the Justice Department of the United States to charge him with a hate crime. Martin was black. Zimmerman is bi-racial who is known for helping black children. People who know him say he is not a racist.

I think what is needed now is the very same thing that was needed the night that this 17-year-old young man was killed; we all need to step back, consider where we are and what the situation really is… and approach this matter with an open, sensitive mind and heart.

I don’t know the answer. I do know that there is racial discrimination in every part of the world and in every situation and system. We do not look through another’s eyes very well. I do know that it is NOT 24 hours a day of talking heads trying to force their opinion on you – from either side. Perhaps the answer is turning to God for insight, forgiveness, and a way to learn from this, grow from this and make this a better world.

Dear Lord, I know we have a lot to learn on how to get along with each other and treat each other as brothers and sisters. Forgive us for failing to see and not seeking to understand the plight of all around us. Open our hearts and eyes that we may see and feel the beat of your love deep inside our being. Amen

Grace and Peace

Steve

Ignored By Friends

1557530_10152008561211475_1722441230_nToday the associate at Myers Park preached on the parable of the Good Samaritan (which is the Lectionary text for today). In his sermon he talked about being ignored by the religious of the day and the one who really cared was the one who made the movement toward the person in need and actually bound up his wounds and brought him to an Inn. The one who really cared was not the religious but the one who was hated by the religious.

Today at lunch at Jay’s Deli (Friendly Shopping Center) Shirley and I were seated beside a group (that was already seated) of people from an un-named UMC (in Greensboro) among whom were one associate pastor from that church and her pastor husband who is in extension ministry (both of whom I went to school with at Duke and worked with on many occasions). One was almost facing me. I tried and tried and tried to catch their eye to say hello, but they kept averting their eyes from me. I even caught them a couple of times looking at me only to quickly look away as I looked at them. Admittedly, Shirley and I were wearing shorts and I was wearing my Mary Philbin tee-shirt, but they could have at least recognized someone they’ve known through three of the four years in seminary, and several years of working together in the same district.

Have you ever felt invisible around people you know and who know you? Have you ever felt like you must have leprosy – were wearing plaids and stripes together – or maybe you smelled like you had just crawled out of a dumpster? Today I felt bad because my friends purposely ignored me. They had to try hard to avoid seeing me. What’s more, I felt bad about that United Methodist Church. If this is how the leaders of that church treat colleagues they have known for 30 years, how will they treat the visitor who comes among them… and what would be their real motivation? I really do have problems with people who think they are better than me, who will not recognize me around their friends – but see me only when I have something to offer them.

I think about Robert and Melanie Niblock as the opposite of my colleagues. Robert is the CEO of Lowe’s Home Improvement and a member of the church I have just finished serving for four years. They are rich by worldly standards, but they are even richer by the standards of Jesus. They are smart, humble, compassionate, friendly, caring, hard-working, and their two sons (even though they go to UNC) are two of the nicest young men I have ever met. All of them will say hello when they see you out in the world… no matter who you or they are with. Robert and Melanie are real people who allow Jesus to live through them every day of the week… and so do the rest of the people in that church. I thank God for that church.

If you are ever in Winston-Salem I recommend you go and visit a church that really cares about you… even if you are a Samaritan… Pine Grove UMC on Jonestown Road. You will feel at home the first time you enter the door… for they will consider that you are family.

Grace and Peace

Steve

PS: I will be looking for a church to attend in Greensboro… but we know one it will not be. 

Eisenhower, Privates, and God

Steve & Shirley

Steve & Shirley

But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as He chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, yet one body. 1 Corinthians 12:18-20

General Eisenhower once chewed out one of his generals for having referred to a soldier as “just a private.” In the course of that tongue-lashing, Eisenhower went on record as saying the Army could probably function better without its generals than it could without its infantry. Eisenhower concluded, “If this war is won, it will be won by privates.”

Eisenhower understood that little things are not always so little. For example, I recently heard a story about a curious ten-year-old boy. Fascinated by his grandfather’s pocket watch, the boy, in a moment of foolish eagerness, had taken the watch apart. The family said he also managed to put it together again, with the exception of a very small and seemingly insignificant gear.

I don’t have to tell you that without the gear the watch didn’t run.

In some ways the same thing can be said about the Church. Now before I go any further, it must be stated that God’s grace, our forgiveness, redemption and salvation are not dependent upon anything we do. These are all gracious gifts from God.

That being said, the church functions far better when all God’s people are using the talents the Lord has bestowed upon them. Now you and I are fully aware the Holy Spirit has given us great preachers, and mega-churches headed by powerful leaders, and wealthy sponsors who are able to finance great programs.

Some of these servants of the Lord do wonderful work.

Even so, if the Savior’s story of salvation is to go everywhere God wants it to go, if it is to accomplish all He wants it to do, if it is to reach as many people as He wishes, it will happen when both the generals and the privates are working in harmony.

To paraphrase Eisenhower, if the individual battles against evil are going to be won, it will be the power of the Holy Spirit working through those enlisted in God’s service — that is, the regular Joes and Janes — the one-gift Christians, who are the backbone of His Church.

This maybe, in part, explains why, when Jesus picked the men who were going to take the message of salvation and grace to the world He selected some fishermen, a tax-collector, a religious zealot, and a number of other seemingly unspectacular individuals.

But by God’s grace, will and power look at what they accomplished. God used them to turn the world upside down. I believe He will do no less with us, His present-day disciples.

Dear Lord, use me, a poor, miserable-but-forgiven sinner, an old retired preacher, to continue to advance your kingdom as you live and move and have your being in me. Help me to live in such a way that, even though being of low rank in your work, you will give me all I need to touch your people with your grace, in and through Jesus. Amen.

Grace and Peace

Steve

Radical Hospitality

Steve & Shirley

Steve & Shirley

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Philippians 2:3

When tourists pick a destination to visit, the most popular country in the world is not the World of Disney but France. Last year alone the city of Paris welcomed more than 29 million visitors. Of course, there are those who say that the word “welcomed” is a stretch. They say it is a stretch because, at least in some places, the French have a reputation for being rude, standoffish and even surly.

Recognizing they have a very good possibility of losing the tourist trade to friendlier cities like London, Greensboro or Winston-Salem, the Paris Chamber of Commerce has put out a booklet, Do You Speak Touriste? The booklet, which is to be distributed to waiters, taxi drivers, and sales staff, gives advice on how they, as individuals, can improve the city’s image.

The booklet gives some very down-to-earth, practical advice. For example, it says, “The British like to be called by their first names, while Italians should be shaken by the hand, and Americans reassured on prices.”

With one in ten jobs in Paris dependent on the tourist dollar (or yen, lira, pound or mark), it is important the Parisians get this tourist thing right.

I wonder if anybody has ever thought about writing a similar book for Christian congregations. We could call it, Do You Speak Visitor? Every year our churches have many guests who have been brought to that point in their lives when they long for a relationship with Jesus. Sadly, many of these people come away thinking we are unfriendly, uncaring and cliquish.

There are two problems with that conclusion. First, many times the spiritual vitality and wellbeing of these visitors are dependent on how they perceive the church. The big problem is that when they think we are indifferent to them, they assume Jesus, who gave His life so they might have life, feels the same way.

You and I know nothing could be further from the truth.

Because God wants people to acknowledge His Son as their Savior, He has, in Scripture, given us many practical pieces of advice on how we are to deal with people we may consider outsiders. Repeatedly, Jesus told us to do unto others as we want them to do to us. He said we were to follow Him and be a servant to others.

And St. Paul, writing to the church in Philippi, said we were to count others as being more important than ourselves. That, along with a sincere smile and a pleasant, “Good morning,” will do much to advance the receptivity of God’s grace in the hearts of those visiting our churches.

Dear Lord, even as there is joy in heaven over a sinner who repents, may there be joy in our churches over a soul that comes through our church doors to begin or continue as journey with Jesus. Grant that we be people who practice Radical Hospitality with all those around us, in and through Jesus. Amen.

Grace and Peace

Steve

Jesus, My BFF

Steve & Shirley

Steve & Shirley

“Do not put your trust in princes; in mortals, in whom there is not help. When their breath departs, they return to the earth, on that very day their plans perish. Happy are those whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord their God, who made heaven and earth, the sea and all that is in them; who keeps faith forever.” – Psalm 146:3-6

I have a best friend for most every occasion. One for gossip (not that I ever gossip) and a different one for wisdom (particularly church wisdom); one for drinking wine (Shirley wants me to let you know this person is her) and another for drinking coffee (this has been a group of coffee friends); one who lives far away, and one who lives at the other side of town. And one who sleeps in my bed!

It is very convenient having multiple best friends, because you know what? Humans are wonderful, and also unreliable. They have bad moods, they get busy and distracted, and none of this means they don’t love you.

Most importantly:  no one human can fulfill every single need of another human—even the person who shares your bed can’t do that. So, God willing, we get multiple besties, for different life-stages, celebrations and problems.

People who work at churches, here is an especially important caveat for us to remember: every single person you know will probably let you down or disappoint you at some point. Our work is to keep a soft heart, and clear head, in our dealings with every frail and blessed human being, including ourselves.

The good news is this: God keeps faith forever. So when a moment arrives when it seems like everybody’s mad at you (deservedly or not), or has checked out on you (it happens!), God has always been, and remains, our BFF.

If you need help remembering this, recall that little old children’s song “Jesus Loves Me” to remind you that Jesus is ALWAYS there.

Dear God, for the moments when I feel I’m walking alone without a friend, help me start the conversation with the One who lives within me. Amen.

Grace and Peace

Steve

Excuse The Mess

Steve & Shirley

Steve & Shirley

“One day the group of prophets came to Elisha and told him, ‘As you can see, this place where we meet with you is too small.  Let’s go down to the Jordan River, where there are plenty of logs.  There we can build a new place for us to meet.'” – 2 Kings 6:1-2

“PLEASE EXCUSE THE MESS.  WE ARE BUILDING TO SERVE YOU BETTER.” Yes, we have a mess around our house because of moving. Boxes and stuff everywhere. Today I want to talk about another mess….

You’ve seen the signs haven’t you? New construction is messy, no doubt, but it always says something about the vision of the ones who undertake it. It says that somebody has recognized the constrictions of current operations and has decided to invest the time, energy and resources necessary for expansion.

New construction and building expansions are messy, but not as messy as attempting to ensconce broad visions into narrow structures; not as messy as trying to see a panoramic view through a myopic lens; not as messy as pouring new wine into old wine skins; not as messy as subjecting the vistas of the universal to the constructs of the parochial.

When democracy works right, it’s messy. Justice always seems to travel down tumultuous roads of stops and starts; pain and progress; exhilaration and exasperation.

Yet, the new construction continues, as more of us recognize that many structures of the status quo are still too narrow to fully accommodate whole classes of disenfranchised people.

The recent Supreme Court rulings on the Voting Rights Act, Affirmative Action and Gay Marriage have caused some people to rejoice and others to recoil. But whatever the reaction, I take heart in knowing that in America, the ground is still shifting, and new constructs of public policy and social consciousness are still being created.

If you’re going to make an omelet, you’ve got to crack some eggs.

Excuse the mess while we build a more perfect union… and, Lord knows, we need it badly. Too many people are hurting, left out, disenfranchised or marginalized.

Dear Lord, we are so grateful that our visions do not have to be limited to the perimeters of our current context.  Give us the commitment and courage to carry on the construction of more inclusive habitats for humanity that all your children may be included in the good care of life.  Amen.

Grace and Peace

Steve

ImagePS: Tonight at our favorite Lowe’s Home Improvement Store, I think we saw one of the guys from Duck Dynasty… or a want-to-be. He had on a cap with flaps pulled down, a beard (on him – not the hat), long hair and shabby clothes. He parked over in the contractor’s parking area. I tried to take a picture for your enjoyment… If it appears here you will know that I found it. If I see him again I will try to get a better picture.

Retirement is wonderful. I have worn shorts every single day. Enjoyed worship Sunday morning through internet streaming from Myers Park UMC. We are planning a vacation for the first week in August. It is rough but someone has to do it. I must bear this cross.

Praying The 23rd Psalm

Steve & Shirley

Steve & Shirley

“The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures. He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul. He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fill no evil, for Thou art with me. Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies. Thou anointest my head with oil. My cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” Psalm 23

This Psalm is probably one of the first scripture I learned as a kid. Back then it was more of a learning task than anything else. It really didn’t have the depth of meaning back then that it has come to mean over the last fifty years.

I love this Psalm because it reminds me of how God interacts with his children – how he looks upon us – and how he cares for us.  As the years went by and I experienced more of life, became a little wiser, more realistic about how fragile we really are, I began to make my nest in this Psalm… I came to rely on it more.

I remember in Vietnam this Psalm was my morning and evening prayer. I needed to know that God was with me. I needed to know, as people were dropping all around me, that God was there…I needed to know that when atop hill 881 when the mortars came falling from the sky and my team and I started digging fox holes as fast as we could…we needed to know that God was there and that no matter what happened to our physical bodies, God would take care of our soul. Even though I was still very scared, I knew that God would not leave me.

When, at 48, I had a severe heart attack… and almost didn’t live… again through that whole life changing ordeal of heart attack, heart failure, congestive heart failure I have lived with for 18 years, and the fear… my prayer was the 23rd Psalm. Yes, I was afraid… yes, I was reminded everyday this could happen again. But the Psalm was there to bring me comfort that God was there.

Many times when dealing with members who were going through very difficult days – those facing life changing and life ending events… I used the Psalm as a prayer for them. I remember in my second appointment, Mrs. Bessie, a ninety year old feisty lady whom I had visited with in the hospital for months. About two o’clock one morning I received a call: “Come quick, Mrs. Bessie is dying.” All the way to the hospital I repeated the 23rd Psalm to give me strength in order that I may give them strength. I prayed it over and over and over, getting the words out-of-order most of the time. But when I entered that hospital room as a young pastor facing the first member to die… I entered with a sense of peace in my soul that came from that Psalm.

There is something so very special about this Psalm which lets us know that we are loved and never, ever forgotten that touches and renews our soul. I pray that whatever you may be going through today – however big or small – grand or mundane – know that God is walking with you THROUGH the journey – all the way through.

Start praying the Psalm everyday and perhaps it will bring you the comfort you seek daily. Amen.

Grace and Peace

Steve

The Blessing of The Toilet Paper

Steve & Shirley

Steve & Shirley

“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.” – Matthew 5:7

There is an old adage that says, “Meet people where they are” – meaning, for example, that instead of telling needful people what you will offer, ask them what they need. What the staff of our local domestic violence shelter said they needed right now is toilet paper. Toilet paper? Someone might query: “I want to offer help with domestic violence and I am asked to offer toilet paper?”

People rarely want to talk about women and children fleeing the parent or person they love because they are being beaten or otherwise abused. People rarely talk about toilet paper either. The challenge is to get the conversation going and the help flowing.

In one of the churches I served, some people were quite surprised to see me walking into the pulpit on a Sunday morning with a roll of toilet paper under my arm and going into a spiel about domestic violence—until a young woman of the church startled the congregation with a testimony that she once needed a domestic violence shelter. It didn’t provide toilet paper. The women had to provide their own. It was expensive and often stolen, so she kept the precious toilet paper with her always.

If we can say, “bless you!” when someone sneezes and bless hot dogs at a barbecue and call it grace—then we can bless our offering of a most basic need in a desperate situation. And so I offered a blessing of the toilet paper to an enthusiastic response from the congregation.

The hundreds of rolls of donated toilet paper took their rightful place with the pulpit, font, lectern and offering baskets. The director of the domestic violence shelter, in church to receive the offering, said the money not spend on toilet paper would be spent on counseling for children living at the shelter. The journey from hell to help, from apathy to mercy can begin anywhere, with anything, and at any time. How about with you? How about now?

Dear Lord, thank you for every gift offered and received, no matter how seemingly silly or inconsequential, or grand and monumental we perceive it to be. For it is all given to assist your children in need, in and through Jesus. Amen.

Grace and Peace

Steve

 

Cosmic Reality Check

Steve & Shirley

Steve & Shirley

“Look at what is before your eyes. If you are confident that you belong to Christ, remind yourself of this.”  Excerpt from 2 Corinthians 10:7-11

There are many kinds of confidence, some of them appropriate to behold and some of them downright annoying. Admit it, you know someone, somewhere, who is confident for all the wrong reasons. We all do.

There’s the guy who struts around because he makes more money than his neighbors. There’s the family that thinks they know it all because they have been to Europe. There’s the person who is certain that everyone wants to listen to her, because she knows she is a brilliant speaker. But there’s just one small problem. She isn’t.

There’s the vain fashionista who tells everyone else what to wear. There’s the martyr who is certain she works harder than anyone else. And of course, in any gathering, there’s the self-proclaimed expert on politics who won’t shut up. They may have confidence, but it’s profoundly misplaced.

In American society, we are forever talking about how to boost our own self-esteem. But when the talk show hosts tell us we need to love ourselves more, I want to respond: Do you really want to say that to everybody? I’m just not sure it’s a universal problem.

So today, Paul tells us to look at what is before our eyes, and to see ourselves accurately. Is your confidence based on something real? What is real is knowing that you belong to a loving Christ. What is not real is thinking you are better than everyone else. We can all use the occasional cosmic reality check.

Dear Lord, you came to earth in humility and took a special interest in the meek and the mild. Let my confidence come from following you in love, and not from self-serving pursuits, in and through Jesus. Amen.

Grace and Peace

Steve

PS: The TWC cable guy got here around 7:30 last night, worked about a half hour, got everything working properly, and was very nice. Guess what? He was a retired Marine. Semper Fi! He told us all the service guys are contact people hired by TWC and that they have very poor communication between TWC and the contact techs. Sounds almost biblical (Right hand not knowing what the left hand is doing.) BTW – James Howell preached on accepting everyone in church… I bet that includes the cable guy and TWC.