The Journey

Did you ever have a day like this? A man, cleaning one of those big cement trucks, got caught in the mixer. He climbed into the back of the truck with a hose to flush out remaining cement when his hose caught on a lever and pulled it to the “on” position. Suddenly, he found himself going round and round in the mixer with no way to escape. Slipping, sliding and banging around inside, all he could do was shout for help.

Fortunately, another worker came over and shut it off. In moments a bruised man, covered with wet concrete, emerged from the mixer. It reminds me of some days I’ve had. You know what I mean.

If you ever feel as if you are being knocked about by life, think about the amazing bird called the Water Ouzel. I can’t imagine this water bird knows what it is to have a bad day. The little creature is often found living next to violent waterfalls and fast-rushing rivers. And however threatening the weather, however cold the water, in snow and rain and even blazing summer sun, the tough and cheerful Water Ouzel can be heard chirping and singing. What’s more, while the voices of most songbirds, however melodious in warm weather, fall silent over long winter months, the hearty Water Ouzel sings on through all seasons and every kind of storm. I have to wonder: does this little creature know something we don’t?

It’s as if the bird knows that every violent storm will eventually give way to sunshine; every dark night will finally fade into dawn. And isn’t it true? Even our bleakest and stormiest times do not last forever. Like the poor man buffeted about in the cement mixer, there is almost always an end to the turmoil.

As the incredible humanitarian novelist Harriet Beecher Stowe said, “When you get in a tight place and everything goes against you, until it seems as if you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time when the tide will turn.” I have had that experience more times than I can remember.

Maybe this is one of those days you feel as if you are in the cement mixer. If so, do you need to hold on a little longer?

And so, we pray: Father, I have never actually been in that mixer, but sometimes it seems like life is spinning us around and beating us up. We’ve all been in those mixer moments when we are just about ready to throw in the towel. When that time comes, give us the courage and grace to hold on a little longer. Amen.

Grace and Peace
Steve

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When I was in cardiac rehab each day while we exercised, they would play over the stereo the song “Staying Alive.” It was a reminder that this exercise was helping us do just that.

“You’re having problems? No problem.” That’s what I try to tell myself when I begin to feel overwhelmed. And then I remind myself that the only people I am aware of who don’t have troubles are gathered in peaceful, little neighborhoods. There is never a care, never a moment of stress and never an obstacle to ruin a day. All is calm. All is serene. Most towns have at least one such worry-free zone. We call them cemeteries.

But if you’re still breathing, you have difficulties. It’s the way of life. And believe it or not, most of your problems may actually be better for you than you think. Let me explain.

Maybe you have seen the Great Barrier Reef, stretching some 1,800 miles from New Guinea to Australia. Tour guides regularly take visitors to view the reef. On one tour, the guide was asked an interesting question. “I notice that the lagoon side of the reef looks pale and lifeless, while the ocean side is vibrant and colorful,” a traveler observed. “Why is this?”

The guide gave an interesting answer: “The coral around the lagoon side is in still water, with no challenge for its survival. It dies early. The coral on the ocean side is constantly being tested by wind, waves, storms – surges of power. It has to fight for survival every day of its life. As it is challenged and tested it changes and adapts. It grows healthy. It grows strong. And it reproduces.” Then he added this telling note: “That’s the way it is with every living organism.”

That’s how it is with people. Challenged and tested, we come alive. Like coral pounded by the sea, we grow. Physical demands can cause us to grow stronger. Mental and emotional stress can produce tough-mindedness and resiliency. Spiritual testing can produce strength of character and faithfulness.

So, you have problems – no problem. Just tell yourself, “There I grow again!”

And so, we pray: Father, many times it is hard to realize that fight for everyday survival helps us to grow strong and stay or come alive. Help me that I could reach deep within to truthfully say when challenges come, “I I grow again.” Amen.

Grace and Peace
Steve

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Writer Richard Bach says, “Every problem has a gift for you in its hands.” I don’t always see that gift, I admit. But I remember reading about Glenn Cunningham when I was a child. His life bore the truth of it…every problem indeed has a gift for you. The trick is learning to find it.

In 1916 young Glenn and his brother Floyd were involved in a tragic accident.  Their school’s pot-bellied stove exploded when the boys struck a match to light it. Somebody had mistakenly filled the can with gasoline instead of kerosene. Both boys were severely burned and had to be dragged from the schoolhouse. Floyd died of his injuries and doctors predicted that Glenn would be permanently crippled. Flesh and muscles were seared from both of Glenn’s legs. His toes were burned off his left foot and the foot’s transverse arch was destroyed. Their local doctor recommended amputation of both legs and predicted that Glenn would never walk again. He told the boy’s mother that it may have been better had he died. 

Glenn overheard the remark and decided that day that he WAS going to walk, no matter what. But he couldn’t climb from a wheelchair for two years. Then one day he grasped the white wooden pickets of the fence surrounding his home and pulled himself up to his feet. Painfully he stepped, hanging onto the fence. He made his way along the fence, back and forth. He did this the next day and next – every day for weeks. He wore a path along the fence shuffling sideways. But muscles began to knit and grow in his scarred legs and feet.

When Glenn could finally walk, he decided he would do something else nobody ever expected him to do again – he would learn to run. “It hurt like thunder to walk,” Glenn later said, “but it didn’t hurt at all when I ran. So, for five or six years, about all I did was run.” At first it looked more like hopping than running. But Glenn ran everywhere he could. He ran around the home. He ran as he did his chores. He ran to and from school (about two miles each way). He never walked when he could run. And after his legs strengthened, he continued to run, not because he had to, but now because he wanted to.

If there was a gift in the tragic accident, it was that if forced Glenn to run. And run he did. He competed as a runner in high school and college. Then Glenn went on to compete in the 1932 and 1936 Olympics. He set world records for the mile run in 1934 and 1938. By the time he retired from competition, Glenn amassed a mountain of records and awards.

“Every problem has a gift for you in its hands.” And if not every problem, then just about everyone. Even spectacular sunsets are not possible without cloudy skies. Troubles bring a gift for those who choose to look. And since I can’t avoid my problems, why waste them? I should look for the gift. My life will be far, far richer for finding it.

And so, we pray: Father, I am not wanting problems in order to find the gift inside them. What I do need is your Spirit to guide me in such a way that when problems come I may be able to look passed the problems to see the gift inside them. And when I see the gift, help me to have the courage to reach out and seize the gift. Amen.

Grace and Peace
Steve

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A humorous story tells about a speeding motorist who was caught by radar from a police helicopter. An officer pulled him over and began to issue a traffic ticket. “How did you know I was speeding?” the frustrated driver asked.

The police officer pointed somberly toward the sky. “You mean,” asked the motorist, “that even He is against me?”

It’s like the man who said, “It feels like the whole world is against me…but I know that’s not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.”

When we have a problem, it can often feel as if everything in our life is going wrong. We may tend to think that everybody is upset, that nobody cares or that everything is falling apart.

I like what psychiatrist Theodore Rubin says: “The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.” 

If having problems feels like a problem to you, it may not be the problems themselves, but the way you think about them that is the problem. Specifically, you may have destructive beliefs about problems, difficulties and hardships. To think more clearly and to get through tough times more effectively, try letting go of these destructive beliefs:

1. Let go of the idea that your problem is PERMANENT. Few troubles last forever. And those few that cannot be solved can usually be managed. Remain hopeful that you will find a way to solve or manage the situation and “all will be well.”

2. Let go of the idea that your problem is PERVASIVE. Don’t make your problem bigger than it is. Few problems affect every area of your life. When something is going wrong, it does not mean that everything is going wrong. There is still very much that is good and working well in your life and you don’t want to lose focus of that fact.

3. Finally, let go of the idea that your problem is PERSONAL. There is nothing wrong with you because you have a problem. All capable and successful people have plenty of troubles. They have learned to make friends with problems, for difficulties are a normal part of life. If you have problems, it only means one thing: you’re still living. And that can be pretty great in itself.

Remember, your problem is not permanent, it is not pervasive and it does not personally diminish who you are. Let go of these three destructive beliefs and you may be amazed at how much better you feel already. In fact, you are on your way to becoming an expert at handling problems.

And so, we pray: Father, so many times we do think that our problems are personal… that somebody (maybe everybody) is out to get us… even you. Help us through all these problems knowing that you are walking with us through every valley. Amen.

Grace and Peace
Steve

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I once read a story, purported to be true, of a motorist who was caught in an automated speed trap. His speed was measured by a radar machine and his car was automatically photographed. In a few days he received a ticket for $40 in the mail along with a picture of his automobile. As payment, he sent the police department a snapshot of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police. It contained another picture — of handcuffs. He promptly paid the fine.

Who hasn’t received a traffic violation? There are many ways to respond to those inevitable irritations of life, and one of the best is to find some humor. (Though he’s probably fortunate the police had a sense of humor, too.)

One comedian used this as strategies for successful living. This comedian has known hard times, yet he once summarized his attitude this way: “You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything… you can survive it.”  Like aging. He says that all things shift when we age. Even the mind. It slips from the head to the behind. There’s proof of this, he tells us. When you walk into a room to get something or to do something, you forget what you went after. You see, your mind has left. “But then you sit down and – bingo! – you remember what it was you wanted. Therefore, your mind must have slipped down to your behind.”

Growing older is a wonderful thing, especially if you’re young. But what if most of your years are behind you? There are some things, like growing older, that can’t be changed. And one of the best ways to respond to things that can’t be changed is to find some humor.

My wife and I don’t hear as well as we use to, but this we find humorous. We watch a commercial and we look at each other saying: “They didn’t say that did they?” We turn on the closed caption so we can understand what they are saying in our favorite shows. We have started watching a new show called The Andy Griffith Show. We laugh at and with each other more than we ever have.

Then there’s Katie. Katie was a young woman with a great, big problem. She was a teenager dying of leukemia. Katie’s mother told how her daughter approached her disease. She told about a time, shortly after a bone marrow transplant, when Katie’s head was “slickly bald,” as she put it. One day Katie heard the doctor coming on rounds and ducked into the bathroom. Her mother heard her giggling and asked, “Katie, what is so funny?” 

She put her finger to her lips, pulled a Nike ski cap onto her head and crawled into bed. 

When the doctor came in, she said, “Well, Miss Katie! How are you feeling today?” 

Katie frowned and said, “I am OK, I guess… but I just have this splitting headache.” She pulled off her ski cap and there on her bald head was a huge red crack, which she had drawn with a marker. As the doctor recovered from her initial shock, the room exploded in laughter. 

Katie did not survive the cancer, but she conquered depression and despair and found an authentic way to live as fully as possible her last months of life. 

There are many ways to respond when life takes a serious turn, but even then, perhaps especially then, one of the best is to find some humor. “It DOES help!” 

Mark Twain says that the human race “has unquestionably one really effective weapon – laughter.” Laughing at the twists and turns of life may not be your first response, but it can be one of the best. 

And so, we pray: Father, help us to find humor wherever and whenever we can. Help us to us it as a way to cope with all the problems we may be facing. One of the things I was taught early in life was not to take myself to seriously. I have used humor all my life – in everyday life, even in the sermons I preached each Sunday. Thank you, O Lord, for giving me the gift of humor. It truly is a gift. Amen.

Grace and Peace
Steve

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We are changed, sometimes in unexpected ways, by the problems of life.

One of Canada’s most famous physicians was Dr. William Osler. Many stories are told of this beloved doctor, but one of the most revealing comes from World War I.

Friends recalled the day when Osler was working in one of Britain’s military hospitals during the war. He was called out of the wards during his daily rounds to be given an important message; his own son had been killed on the fields of France.

Stunned by the news, he still came back to pick up his rounds. For a long period afterward, he was noticeably different. And those who knew him best said that he changed as a physician that day. The cheerful note was gone from his voice and never again did friends hear the tune which he so often whistled as he went from ward to ward.

Though these things never returned, something eventually came to take their place. Everyone noticed a new compassion in his care of the soldiers who each day streamed in from the battlefield. Before, he had the professional concern of the physician, so important to the practice of medicine; now there was an added discernible note of a personal compassion, like that of a father for his son….

Like most people who have experienced such losses, Osler must have spent considerable time in grief. But as he healed and integrated the loss into his life, it left him a different person. 

Pain will do that. It changes us, often in unexpected ways. It can leave us angry and broken, or, as in the case of Osler, it can bring forth qualities such as compassion or tenderness. It is as if the physician channeled his pain into energy and love for others, caring for them as he would care for his own child.

Helen Keller, who found a way to thrive though she went through life both sightless and deaf, knew plenty about suffering. She wisely said, “The struggle of life is one of our greatest blessings. It makes us patient, sensitive, and Godlike. It teaches us that although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.”

Yes, the world is full of suffering. We can’t avoid it no matter how hard we try. But it is also full of examples of people, like you and me, getting through it. Those who overcome great challenges will be changed, and often in unexpected ways. For our struggles enter our lives as unwelcome guests, but they bring valuable gifts. And once the pain subsides, the gifts remain. 

These gifts are life’s true treasures, bought at great price, but cannot be acquired in any other way.

And so, we pray: Father, I am sure there is not one person who want to suffer… none of us invites it into our lives in order that we may be blessed with spiritual gifts. We wonder why we can’t have these gifts without the price of suffering being paid. If sickness comes into our lives, help us to use it as a gift of the spiritual. Amen.

Grace and Peace
Steve

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A little boy wanted a taste of molasses from the large barrel by the door of an old-fashioned country store. He slid a box beside the barrel, stepped up on it and leaned over the rim as far as possible, stretching out his finger toward the sweet goo below. He stretched and strained and toppled headfirst into the barrel.

Dripping with molasses, he stood up, lifted his eyes heavenward and was heard to utter, “Lord, help me to make the most of this fantastic opportunity!”

Most of us will never fall into a barrel of opportunity. We won’t be awarded a great sum of money, we won’t be offered a “dream job,” we won’t have all of our needs suddenly provided for. We can spend years waiting for opportunity to knock only to find that we wasted precious time wishing for something to happen that never was to be.

Yet some people seem to luck into these things, don’t they? It’s as if they were in the right place at the right time and they just fell into it.

But that is not the way it happens. Those people who seize opportunities others seem to miss, find them for one specific reason: they have trained themselves. People who seem more fortunate than the rest of us are those who have taught themselves to look for possibilities in every circumstance and every obstacle.

I think David Boren, president of the University of Oklahoma, is such a man. Years ago, Boren learned from professional pollsters that he would most likely lose his state gubernatorial race and lose it big. The professional polling agency he hired reported his strength to be only about two percent of the population.

Many people would quit the moment they receive such news. And in truth, that was his first reaction. Could anything good come out of such a bleak situation? But he had trained himself to look for opportunities, even when confronting great obstacles. He stayed in the race and approached his campaign in a different way. He told his listeners, “I had a professional poll taken and it shows I’ve got great potential for increasing my support!”

That may sound a good deal better than it is. But he didn’t give up and people began to listen to what he had to say. Boren eventually won the election and served as governor of the US state of Oklahoma.

People who spot opportunities may simply be people who have trained themselves to look for the best possible outcome in every situation and act on it. It takes a different way of thinking.

My son has just been promoted to be the manager over all IT in his company. Over two-hundred people applied, but they knew him, his work ethic, his dedication to his work, his integrity in all he said and did. He is a truth teller, even when many see it a different way… and I believe his superiors appreciated his truthfulness. He is not a brown-noser by any stretch. His is not lucky… he was prepared for the promotion and his company realized it.

To everyone else it may just look like you’re lucky. But you will know better.

And so, we pray: Father, we have been taught all our lives to be prepared for opportunities that come our way by doing the little things well today… being the person of integrity, even when no one is looking. Amen.

Grace and Peace
Steve

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I relate well to the comment made by speaker Barbara Johnson: “Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears.” I know that if I can keep the motor idling, it will be ready to go when I need it.

For all who are teachers or training to become a teacher, this story is for you. A kindergarten teacher practiced keeping her motor idling. A story has it that she was helping one of her students put his snow boots on. He asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, they finally succeeded, and she had by now worked up a sweat. She almost whimpered when the little boy said, “They’re on the wrong feet.”

She looked and, sure enough, they were. It wasn’t any easier pulling the boots off, and then she had to wrestle the stubborn boots on again.

Just as she finished lacing them, he announced, “These aren’t my boots.” She bit her tongue to keep from screaming, “Why didn’t you say so?”

Once again, she struggled to pull off the ill-fitting boots. He then calmly added, “They’re my brother’s boots. My mom made me wear them.” She began to realize how close she was to stripping her gears as she struggled with the boots yet again.

When they were finally laced, she said, “Now, where are your mittens?”

“I stuffed them in the toes of my boots,” he said.

She may have been the same teacher who once commented about a particularly difficult child in her class, “Not only is he my worst behaved child this year, but he also has a perfect attendance record.

A Dutch proverb observes, “A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains.” I may never have to worry about having a bushel of brains, but I can sometimes muster a handful of patience. And that should be enough.

And so, we pray: Father, I think I have run into that little boy with the boots – matter of fact, I think I most likely have been that little boy. Help all of us to have patience, especially those teachers and those seeking to become teachers… there will always be that little boy. Give us a handful of patience. Amen.

Grace and Peace
Steve

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James was cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from a shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed it was over eleven years old. He felt sure the shoes would not still be there but decided to stop by and check anyway.

He handed the ticket to the man behind the counter, who scowled at the date. “Just a minute,” said the clerk. “I’ll have to look for these.” He disappeared into a back room.

After a few minutes, the clerk called out, “What do you know – here they are!”

“That’s terrific!” said James, hardly believing his good fortune.

The man came back to the counter, empty-handed. “They’ll be ready Thursday,” he said.

I hope James is the patient sort.

We should all be masters of patience; after all, we’ve had plenty of practice. But mustering patience with unreasonable people (including ourselves) may seem more than we can manage some days.

I heard about an elderly patient in an American hospital who was recovering from a medical procedure. He decided to take a look at his recovery-room record attached to the bed frame. He leafed through the pages, then stopped at one particular notation and furled his brow in consternation.

“I know I was in a bit of a muddle, but I didn’t realize I was that bad,” he said apologetically to his nurse. “I hope I didn’t offend anyone.”

She glanced to the spot where he pointed. “Don’t worry,” she said. “SOB doesn’t mean what you think. It stands for ‘short of breath.’”

But I suspect that in some cases it does have a double meaning. Especially if the patient is in pain, fearful or just plain out of sorts. (And that goes for some of the hospital staff, too.)

Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher once said, “I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end.” But we don’t always get our own way. And patience can be taxed beyond reason. 

Where does understanding come from when it feels as if there is nothing left?

It can come from the simple act of remembering. To remember is to understand. It is not about gritting one’s teeth and forcing oneself to be more patient. It is actually easier than that.

Do you remember what it was like to be a child? No parent should ever forget. And to remember is to understand what your child may be going through or feeling.

Do you remember what it was like to be a student? Every teacher should try to remember, and especially if they feel frustrated – what is really happening in the life of that student and what would I be feeling in this class at this time?

Do you remember what it is like to be a patient? Doctors and nurses show more empathy after they have also spent time in a hospital bed.

Do you remember what it was like to be lonely? To be first? To be last? To fail? To succeed? To be afraid? To remember is to understand.

And to understand is to be patient.

And so, we pray: Father, I recall the words of Martin Luther when he said: “Remember your Baptism and be thankful. I seem to not remember that which is important or remember what I was feeling when I was in those same young shoes. Help me to remember that I may be more caring and more understanding of those around me. Amen.

Grace and Peace
Steve

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Do you know what the most common craving is among pregnant women? (I’m sure this is factual.) The most common craving among pregnant women is not spicy food, pickles or ice cream. Not even close. It is for MEN to get pregnant.

Why? Because then they would know what it is like. Then they might be more patient. What most women need during times of cravings, discomfort, swollen ankles and morning sickness is…understanding. Much of our conflict is the result of MISunderstanding. 

As a new bride, one woman moved into the small home on her husband’s ranch in the mountains. She put a shoe box on a shelf in her closet and asked her husband never to touch it.

For 50 years he left the box alone, until his life partner was old and dying. One day when he was putting their affairs in order, he found the box again and thought it might hold something important.

Opening it, he discovered two doilies and $82,500 in cash. He took the box to her and asked about the contents.

“My mother gave me that box the day we married,” she explained. “She told me to make a doily to help ease my frustrations every time I got mad at you.”

Her husband was touched that in 50 years she’d only been upset enough to make two doilies. “What about the $82,500?” he asked.

She explained, “Oh, well that’s the money I’ve made selling the doilies.”

Making doilies might take your mind off the problem, but nothing will change if you don’t address it. The path from conflict to love is not by way of arts and crafts, it is through the gates of conversation and understanding.

You’ve heard it said: “Love is patient and kind.” Patient and kind, yes, but love is also understanding. Maybe that’s what makes it so lovely.

And so, we pray: Father, I wonder how many doilies my wife has made, and what we can do with all that money? I know there is misunderstanding all the time because most of the time I just don’t get what she means… so I ask her to be straight forward – tell me what you really mean. Over the years I hope there have been less and less doilies made. Help me to understand, O Lord, that I may be a better person who really cares for all of your children. Amen.

Grace and Peace
Steve

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